dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
