just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
