in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
