She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
