Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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