Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
