Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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