$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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