you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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