just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
