dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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