Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
