they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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