it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Randomize
