Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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