i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
