you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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