He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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