What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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