Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
