I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
