6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
