That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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