Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
