I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
