You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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