Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The air was thick with penises
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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