Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
