honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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