He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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