No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't deserve a penis
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize