There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just found puke in my bra..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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