i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
