awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You ate ashes out of my bong
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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