The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
