This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
ok first of all what the fuck
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
