Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
