just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Small penises have feelings too.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
