I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
