Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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