best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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