Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
