just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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