Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
