very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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