the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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