There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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