your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I have fence marks all over my body
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
