He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Never joke about your clitoris.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
