The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"it" just moved
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
