I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's blow job season.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
